is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize
