You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
