Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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