Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
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It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
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There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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