You're a womanizer and a bitch.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
