Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
time to smoke my breakfast
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
