Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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