is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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