What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I will pee on everything he values.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
