I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
