in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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