i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Never underestimate the power of titties
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