Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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