1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
