Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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