My nipple is on Facebook.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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