Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Just puked most of my soul out..
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