maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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