I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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