you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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