i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize