I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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