If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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