i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
