at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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