please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
