Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
