i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
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Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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