I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
