Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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