I wish you could order shots online.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
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We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
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P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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