I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
