We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Randomize
