jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
