Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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