Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
