I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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