She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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