your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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