So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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