i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
