that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize