it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I don't think brook has ever known best
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
