There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
