After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
