I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
