You made me cry and you don't even care
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
