when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
