that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
