yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
