He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
