Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
im holly from the hills drunk
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
