Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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