Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
