what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize