Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I believe in your delicious
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
