ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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