Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
