Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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