can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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